Wednesday, February 1, 2012

You were born for something great!

'I was born for something great, even when something not so great has happened. I've learned that last part has taken me to the 'great' I never knew existed.' (2006 Old Journal Entry, Backstage at the Oprah Show)

Today, marks the two week journey that I will share looking into my 'trail of tears', the 2 wks leading up to Feb. 14th, Chad's death anniversary. We all experience a shift in our inner selves when we know this is coming. On a cellular level, I know, I cannot resist this coming on or how it will manifest itself, but I've just learned a different way to handle the stress of feeling it.

First, I must resist the feeling of wanting to run away and instead run to those in life who are wanting to give me love in many different ways. I accept any and all love that comes my direction.

Every year, Chad, an architect, would handcraft me a unique, architectural stylized card. It was highly anticipated and I never knew when he would hand it to me....I just kept waiting for the masterpiece to be pulled out so I could see his artistry. Always using callilgraphy to create a touching one or two liner that always left me feeling like the luckiest girl on earth.

So after he died, his dear friend Denny, picked up his architectural markers and continued his tradition of giving me cards with this flavor. Here's what arrived in the mail yesterday.

The moral of this story is, love continues to live on in bittersweet ways. It's Gods way of allowing us to see the BIG world of love available to us if we allow ourselves to see it. Today, I will and I say 'bring on the rainfall'. Sometimes we have to borrow the love of others, to 
find our own in this life.

With sisterly love, 
Carolyn Moor
Modern Widows Club

                                         ~Dedicated to Chad and all the love he shared with us.