Saturday, June 1, 2013

Modern Widows Club Magazine is for You!

One year ago, I had a dream. I certainly see myself as a dreamer. This dream was to create a connection point for widows that was approachable, friendly and trustworthy to mentor widows starting with my own home town of Orlando, FL and eventually extending my reach all over the world. 

But with all dreams, there are so many unanswered and curious questions to resolve before the reality of that dream is realized. 

This is why I spent over a year creating Modern Widows Club Magazine. An online resource where we could all connect, read articles from other inspirational men and women who have lost a spouse and yet, found a way to move forward while reaching back. 
Their pain has found purpose and so will yours.

MWC Magazine 

That's why we are a widows mentoring organization. Mentoring is the answer to connect us all. Mentors are friends who care deeply enough to not turn away from what they know and instead reach back with who they are today. 

Actually, to be forthcoming, I had several dreams. Not just the conscious dreaming we do when we'd rather be doing something else. I had subconscious dreams in my sleep of making a global impact on improving other widows day to day living. After all, I had actually survived and thrived after 13 yrs along this widowed journey. I knew the power of God Boxes (my MacBook Pro) and my mini God Box (my iPhone). I knew there was a way to reach you.

And as hard as I tried to walk into a new life as a single woman, a solo parent and a lone entrepreneur, there was one thing that was missing. 

That one thing is YOU!

Like every widow whose life has been torn to pieces, feeling the foundation crumble below you and being left confused at what you believe in anymore.....I just wanted to become somewhat 
normal again

To me, I was the wrong person to launch a dream like this. I didn't have the time, money, know how or even desire at first. I was just trying to make sound decisions, keep all my glass balls in the air and hoping for the best. But other widows would find me and ask to have coffee, lunch, dinner, phone call and I kept saying yes. 

I guess I should of suspected as much after sitting on Oprah's sofa.

But that's not why I did this. 
I did this because it found me.  When someone would call me (or more than likely handed off from someone who didn't know what to do with their widowed friend) I'd sit and encourage them by consciously showing up, caring to listen and remember along with them. I used the only thing I really have....myself. It really is that simple. Like Rick Warren says 'When people are in deep pain and need a friend - show up and shut up!'

'Normal' in the dictionary means to be in accordance to a norm, a standard or regular pattern. As you know, being widowed is far from that. It's actually the direct opposite, the synonym to normal. One of the synonyms I discovered was the word 'unnatural'. 

Now there is a word I can relate to! Being widowed feels unnatural doesn't it?  It's a variance with what feels normal or what I expected my life to be. It feels like a violation of natural law. 

But what is very natural is to love. To care and love another is what brought me to you. I've known a broken heart, I've known fear, I've known loss and I've known helplessness. But I'm here to tell you, you will again know love. You will again see love in action all around you. It will be in very simple things or enormous moments of grace. 

Half the battle is tuning your eyes to see what is natural to you in this unnatural experience. To allow this natural desire to love something and be loved back to come to you in a new form other than the person you lost and loved. 

Love is big people. 
Someone needs you. 

Watch this video and hear as I share this on Growing Bolder TV. 

After I filmed this video, I soon started to have dreams about 
Modern Widows Club. 

It was really this simple. 

Now, we have an online magazine, 4 National Chapters and 1 International Chapter. We are growing and it's because widows are speaking up, reaching out, doing something and reaching back.
 It's a beautiful thing. 

Will you join us? I hope so. 
Together we can live James 1:27 and bring joy and compassion to widows by simply caring 
and being kind. 

On June 23, we will celebrate 2013 International Widow's Day along with UN Women and The Noomba Foundation. We would love for everyone to mark it on their calendars to 'Social Media' our magazine to the world. Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Blogs, Tumblr, Waywire, Magazines, Groups, Social Circles, Companies, Grief Organizations, Pinterest and beyond. 
~ You can help by being our very own PR and Marketing Team

Even if only one widow finds us and is filled with hope, it's well worth it ~ Don't you think?  

With heartfelt love, 
Carolyn Moor
MWC Founder 

Subscribe here today and find your place.

Come on over to my home (Every 3rd Thursday)
 Orlando, FL June 20
Meet me:
 Tallahassee, FL June 10-11
Phoenix, AZ July 3-5
Sedona, AZ July 5-8
Estes Park, CO July 17
Denver, CO July 18-19
Seattle, WA July 20-22
Las Vegas, NV July 22-24

Monday, February 4, 2013

What Death has Taught Me about Living

How can death teach about living when while I'm living all I do is completely avoid death. 

But it's true. 
Death has taught me everything about living and I'm sure its taught you a lot too!

I'm going to shock you here and even say 'I'm grateful for death'. Grateful that my broken open heart brought golden lessons with a silver lining.

Last week, I turned a half a century, that's right, the big 50! My days leading up to that point felt very introspective and I decided to share what I've joyfully & painstakingly learned in the last 13 yrs about how death has completely given me a new perspective on living!

My Living Lessons:

~ After death has visited your door, the world changes from dark, gray, muted tones. Slowly shades of color start to seep in without you knowing and ending up hopefully, living technicolor. You will notice this happening in your clothes and interior spaces. So watch for it. Open the shades, let the yellow sunshine in and wear hot pink. Just own it and refuse to be dulled by death. 

~ Being mediocre isn't acceptable anymore, so I'll continue to strive for extraordinary. 

~ I accept that I'm human-- through and through, mistakes became opportunities, became experiences, became wisdom. Make decisions even if you feel they may be a mistake, it will lead you somewhere wise. 

~ I like my life to be driven by love not fear. I'm the one who knows which is which. No need to talk to a therapist, girlfriend, coach or rabbi. Get quiet and accept the truth. Fear is felt differently in your body than love. Don't tell me you can't tell the difference! Don't worry about what you will have to do after truth comes, truth has a way of guiding you to good places. 

~ Guess what? Tomorrow everything changes. Smile.

~ My capacity for love has grown exponentially the moment I lost what I thought love was. Death taught me that love is much bigger, much deeper, much wider than I ever knew for myself & others. Especially others. As my love grew for others, so did my love for myself. Then respect, forgiveness, failure, risk, fulfillment & dreams came after that. Funny how that happens.  

~ I've pulled many thorns out of my heart and given them time to heal. It feels good to know who I am.. good and bad. I have to accept it all. 

~ My hair may turn grey, my face wrinkled and my body soften-- I'm ok with this as long as the sparkle in my eyes remain. 

~ Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything everything is a lesson.

~ I've come to peace with the pain I've experienced in life. It taught me to have courage and challenge what is not familiar. It taught me to let go of always wanting safety, comfort or control in every situation. They say every 7 yrs you grow a completely new person from cellular turn over. I'm almost two people separated from when death found me. I'm literally NOT that person!

~ God already knows, let him do his job. Move out of the way.

~ I think my heart is getting younger while my body gets older.

~ I feel moor free and liberated today than I've ever felt. I've paid the price for it.

~ I'm happy that I am happy every day I wake up. I have a choice to be happy the rest of the day. 

~ When you die, you will have a looooong to-do-list somewhere that you WILL NOT finish! I know, I found Chad's after he died. It left an impression on me in many, many ways. 

~ Death hasn't taken anything from me, in contrast, death is constantly giving me life. I appreciate life now more than EVER! I know, no one is promised tomorrow. No one. 

~ My most favorite words 'I will and I can'. Try them sometime. They are worth sharing. 

~ Right timing is everything. Timing everything is not right. Everything will work out in its own right time. Right!

~ I have a greater desire for pure simple pleasures in life. I don't just desire them, I need them. The way the sea washes up on the shore, a feathers luminosity, how an animal moves, busy busy ant hills, the sound of kitty purring, soft fabric on my face, chimes in the wind, water on my face and the smell of fresh nectarines. My senses want more from life. All of precious life. 

~ I must give the world what is uniquely ME. Others will not recognize it at first, it will be a brand new something that is needed in the world. So if its weird, misunderstood, strange, controversial, puzzling, challenging, impossible....then you might be on to something, keep going!


 What are your life lessons, are you keeping track of what death has taught you about living? I hope you enjoyed these. Just a few words of wisdom from a girl full of dreams for her next half a century! 
Love to you infinitely,
Carolyn Moor
Founder MWC

Friday, January 25, 2013

Duties, Dreams and Yoga

         "Life sure can be a mix of duties, dreams & yoga"

Yesterday, my day started like most days- at 6am. Coffee, breakfast and making school lunches for both my high school daughters who are gone half the day. 

Then, I began working. Just to catch you up- last week, for some reason my calendar would not sync between my iPhone & Laptop any longer. This alone is a nightmare since I completely rely on having this information for calls, interior design appts, MWC meetings and carpool pick ups.

So, the nice folks at the Apple store said the first thing in order was adding more memory- $57. 

Then, updating software on my Apple laptop to the most current operating system- Mountain Lion $20. 

At the store, they made it sound simple and I had faith in my 5 yr old MacbookPro, we've been through so much together. It took longer than I thought. Overnight.

For those of you who have done this, you know its like learning a whole new computer in a way. I've been down this road but this time, my email wouldn't accept any of the incoming or outgoing information. I spent an hour and 3 ppl at AT&T, then another 2 hrs at the Apple store which ending in them suggesting I change my email servers from a POP format to a IMAP format since all new technology is headed that way. 

Then came confusion: iCloud, user names, passwords, SSL, ports, connectivity, incoming, outgoing, preferences, resets, enabling.

6 hrs later, I still couldn't get my email and every google search produced zero solutions. The Apple store was baffled, I was frustrated. I finally created a gmail account and had my main 13 yr old email (which most of everything I do is connected to) forwarded via gmail. Long story short, to change this one old email will probably result in 2-3 full days of work making sure everything I do is functioning properly.

I know I've missed some of your emails and I'm sorry. I work very fast & hard each day from 6am-11pm most days, Friday is my toughest & tiring day. But this week, Thursday was!!

It's not just the frustration of technology, it's also the deeper fact that my former boyfriend used to help me with these things but I couldn't call on him, that didn't feel right. I needed food in my frig, I missed sending my nieces birthday card, my extensive to-do-list didn't have any boxes checked off as done, clients were calling and I missed an appointment. On top of that, I promised to do something just to nurture me everyday and lately that has meant Bikram Yoga at 4pm, before I make dinner for my family gets home. 

I was still at the Apple store figuring this out at 3pm and stood up and said 'I have to go'. I needed to be nurtured, like I promised. Had I not given up enough of myself to this world today? 

So, I drove in heavy traffic across town, screeching in my driveway to throw on some yoga pants & fill my water bottle. I hit every red light......ugh. 

But I made it with 5 seconds to spare. I went from 100 miles an hour to a heated yoga room. 

I don't know if you've ever taken Bikram Yoga before, but it's the 105 degree HOT yoga. You sweat....a lot. Kinda gross at first, but refreshing in so many ways afterwards. You focus on ONE thing...YOU. Mind, body + spirit! The poses are the challenge, each individual attempts the best their body can hold the pose with mental fortitude and spiritual depth. There is no judgement and every body type striving for balance. I love it. 

The class is 90 minutes long and around 73 minutes I get a natural high and tingling in the top of my head, like the stress of the world has been lifted. 

Well, yesterday, I had a powerful urge to start crying at 73 minutes. I've never felt that. But I resisted and kept focusing on connecting inward and the promise I made to myself to do something just for me. I felt like today I had to FIGHT for that!! I mean, who else will, if I don't....right? 

I continued. Determined. 

At the end of class, you lay quiet for 2 minutes + with the lights lowered and allow your heart rate to return to normal. I almost always pray and thank God for all he gives to me, including the peace I feel in the moment. Drenched in sweat, pouring down every angle of my body....the tears came flowing out. I had let go and let God again. 

I mean, crying in public! No one could see and if they could, they would have thought it was sweat anyway ...I laughed a little at how bizarre this whole day had become. How life presents struggles and how I choose to face them, how sometimes you have to say 'enough' and do what it takes to mean it, how keeping promises to myself may mean that I push myself beyond my own abilities not knowing if I will succeed. 

Life is such a balance, but knowing how to create boundaries and when to say 'yes' and 'no' are two lessons that I believe get you there. It's one of the hard ones, but so necessary in this journey. Having helpful mentors like One Fit Widow/ Michelle Steinke, Second Firsts/Christina Rasmussen and Soul Coaching/ Michele Lessirard in my life has taught me this in my 13 yrs of being widowed. 

I have learned peace + balance doesn't come from anything external, material....ANYTHING! It's all an internal knowing, divine connection to our greatest purpose given to us by God at birth and that is to do what the soul is urging you to BECOME for the worlds sake. You have something to unique to offer that no one else can! Will you do what it takes to find out what that is? Will you keep looking for it?

For me, creating MWC is part of his plan for me and I resisted it a long time, until last year. We know each other because I finally said yes. There is so much out there to distract us until we answer our calling. 

I laid there 5 minutes with tears coming down. It felt good. I realized that the main reason why I was frustrated was I didn't want to disappoint anyone....myself, my clients, my friends & family and especially from Modern Widows Club! I love you all!! Not responding or missing an email I felt was made me realize once again just how human I am. And how much we all need each other as mentors/ mentees and the last thing we all want is to feel forgotten. 

So, today with fresh eyes, please forgive me if I dropped the ball in anyway. I will get back to a place where all electronics are fully functioning here and balance will be restored. All your well wishes & prayers stated on Facebook worked! 

Picking myself up by the boot straps and moving forward!
Carolyn Moor
MWC Founder & Friend