Modern Widows Club Magazine is for You!

One year ago, I had a dream. I certainly see myself as a dreamer. This dream was to create a connection point for widows that was approachable, friendly and trustworthy to mentor widows starting with my own home town of Orlando, FL and eventually extending my reach all over the world. 

But with all dreams, there are so many unanswered and curious questions to resolve before the reality of that dream is realized. 

This is why I spent over a year creating Modern Widows Club Magazine. An online resource where we could all connect, read articles from other inspirational men and women who have lost a spouse and yet, found a way to move forward while reaching back. 

Their pain has found purpose and so will yours.

MWC Magazine 

That's why we are a widows mentoring organization. Mentoring is the answer to connect us all. Mentors are friends who care deeply enough to not turn away from what they know and instead reach back with who they are today. 

Actually, to be forthcoming, I had several dreams. Not just the conscious dreaming we do when we'd rather be doing something else. I had subconscious dreams in my sleep of making a global impact on improving other widows day to day living. After all, I had actually survived and thrived after 13 yrs along this widowed journey. I knew the power of God Boxes (my MacBook Pro) and my mini God Box (my iPhone). I knew there was a way to reach you.

And as hard as I tried to walk into a new life as a single woman, a solo parent and a lone entrepreneur, there was one thing that was missing. 

That one thing is YOU!

Like every widow whose life has been torn to pieces, feeling the foundation crumble below you and being left confused at what you believe in anymore.....I just wanted to become somewhat 

normal again. 

To me, I was the wrong person to launch a dream like this. I didn't have the time, money, know how or even desire at first. I was just trying to make sound decisions, keep all my glass balls in the air and hoping for the best. But other widows would find me and ask to have coffee, lunch, dinner, phone call and I kept saying yes. 

I guess I should of suspected as much after sitting on Oprah's sofa.

But that's not why I did this. 

I did this because it found me.  When someone would call me (or more than likely handed off from someone who didn't know what to do with their widowed friend) I'd sit and encourage them by consciously showing up, caring to listen and remember along with them. I used the only thing I really have....myself. It really is that simple. Like Rick Warren says 'When people are in deep pain and need a friend - show up and shut up!'

'Normal' in the dictionary means to be in accordance to a norm, a standard or regular pattern. As you know, being widowed is far from that. It's actually the direct opposite, the synonym to normal. One of the synonyms I discovered was the word 'unnatural'. 

Now there is a word I can relate to! Being widowed feels unnatural doesn't it?  It's a variance with what feels normal or what I expected my life to be. It feels like a violation of natural law. 

But what is very natural is to love. To care and love another is what brought me to you. I've known a broken heart, I've known fear, I've known loss and I've known helplessness. But I'm here to tell you, you will again know love. You will again see love in action all around you. It will be in very simple things or enormous moments of grace. 

Half the battle is tuning your eyes to see what is natural to you in this unnatural experience. To allow this natural desire to love something and be loved back to come to you in a new form other than the person you lost and loved. 

Love is big people. 

Someone needs you. 

Watch this video and hear as I share this on Growing Bolder TV. 

After I filmed this video, I soon started to have dreams about 

Modern Widows Club. 

A place where I am loved and I could love other widows. 

It was really this simple. 

Now, we have an online magazine, 4 National Chapters and 1 International Chapter. We are growing and it's because widows are speaking up, reaching out, doing something and reaching back.

 It's a beautiful thing. 

Will you join us? I hope so. 

Together we can live James 1:27 and bring joy and compassion to widows by simply caring 

and being kind. 

On June 23, we will celebrate 2013 International Widow's Day along with UN Women and The Noomba Foundation. We would love for everyone to mark it on their calendars to 'Social Media' our magazine to the world. Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Blogs, Tumblr, Waywire, Magazines, Groups, Social Circles, Companies, Grief Organizations, Pinterest and beyond. 

~ You can help by being our very own PR and Marketing Team ~ 

Even if only one widow finds us and is filled with hope, it's well worth it ~ Don't you think?  

With heartfelt love, 

Carolyn Moor

MWC Founder 

Subscribe here today and find your place.

Come on over to my home (Every 3rd Thursday)

 Orlando, FL June 20

or

Meet me:

 Tallahassee, FL June 10-11

Phoenix, AZ July 3-5

Sedona, AZ July 5-8

Estes Park, CO July 17

Denver, CO July 18-19

Seattle, WA July 20-22

Las Vegas, NV July 22-24

Write: info@modernwidowsclub.com

What Death has Taught Me about Living

How can death teach about living when while I'm living all I do is completely avoid death. 

But it's true. 

Death has taught me everything about living and I'm sure its taught you a lot too!

I'm going to shock you here and even say 'I'm grateful for death'. Grateful that my broken open heart brought golden lessons with a silver lining.

Last week, I turned a half a century, that's right, the big 50! My days leading up to that point felt very introspective and I decided to share what I've joyfully & painstakingly learned in the last 13 yrs about how death has completely given me a new perspective on living!

My Living Lessons:

~ After death has visited your door, the world changes from dark, gray, muted tones. Slowly shades of color start to seep in without you knowing and ending up hopefully, living technicolor. You will notice this happening in your clothes and interior spaces. So watch for it. Open the shades, let the yellow sunshine in and wear hot pink. Just own it and refuse to be dulled by death. 

~ Being mediocre isn't acceptable anymore, so I'll continue to strive for extraordinary. 

~ I accept that I'm human-- through and through, mistakes became opportunities, became experiences, became wisdom. Make decisions even if you feel they may be a mistake, it will lead you somewhere wise. 

~ I like my life to be driven by love not fear. I'm the one who knows which is which. No need to talk to a therapist, girlfriend, coach or rabbi. Get quiet and accept the truth. Fear is felt differently in your body than love. Don't tell me you can't tell the difference! Don't worry about what you will have to do after truth comes, truth has a way of guiding you to good places. 

~ Guess what? Tomorrow everything changes. Smile.

~ My capacity for love has grown exponentially the moment I lost what I thought love was. Death taught me that love is much bigger, much deeper, much wider than I ever knew for myself & others. Especially others. As my love grew for others, so did my love for myself. Then respect, forgiveness, failure, risk, fulfillment & dreams came after that. Funny how that happens.  

~ I've pulled many thorns out of my heart and given them time to heal. It feels good to know who I am.. good and bad. I have to accept it all. 

~ My hair may turn grey, my face wrinkled and my body soften-- I'm ok with this as long as the sparkle in my eyes remain. 

~ Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything everything is a lesson.

~ I've come to peace with the pain I've experienced in life. It taught me to have courage and challenge what is not familiar. It taught me to let go of always wanting safety, comfort or control in every situation. They say every 7 yrs you grow a completely new person from cellular turn over. I'm almost two people separated from when death found me. I'm literally NOT that person!

~ God already knows, let him do his job. Move out of the way.

~ I think my heart is getting younger while my body gets older.

~ I feel moor free and liberated today than I've ever felt. I've paid the price for it.

~ I'm happy that I am happy every day I wake up. I have a choice to be happy the rest of the day. 

~ When you die, you will have a looooong to-do-list somewhere that you WILL NOT finish! I know, I found Chad's after he died. It left an impression on me in many, many ways. 

~ Death hasn't taken anything from me, in contrast, death is constantly giving me life. I appreciate life now more than EVER! I know, no one is promised tomorrow. No one. 

~ My most favorite words 'I will and I can'. Try them sometime. They are worth sharing. 

~ Right timing is everything. Timing everything is not right. Everything will work out in its own right time. Right!

~ I have a greater desire for pure simple pleasures in life. I don't just desire them, I need them. The way the sea washes up on the shore, a feathers luminosity, how an animal moves, busy busy ant hills, the sound of kitty purring, soft fabric on my face, chimes in the wind, water on my face and the smell of fresh nectarines. My senses want more from life. All of precious life. 

~ I must give the world what is uniquely ME. Others will not recognize it at first, it will be a brand new something that is needed in the world. So if its weird, misunderstood, strange, controversial, puzzling, challenging, impossible....then you might be on to something, keep going!

        

 What are your life lessons, are you keeping track of what death has taught you about living? I hope you enjoyed these. Just a few words of wisdom from a girl full of dreams for her next half a century! 

Love to you infinitely,

Carolyn Moor

Founder MWC

Thankful for What We Do Have

Seven years ago around this time, I was homeless with two small children. Why? Because Florida had 3 major hurricanes hit within a few months and although, my home did not suffer any damage, I was about to deal with another kind of catastrophe that would take State Farm insurance adjusters over 2 weeks to respond and give me funding and instructions on where to go next after my....

.... accidental house fire.

Few people know about this in my life. I do not write about it in my book 'Living with Something Moor' and unless you were my neighbor at the time or a family member, you probably never heard me talk about it.

Started by a candle off my Master Bedroom when a friend unknowingly set an  inflamed votive near my outdoor porch draperies and a plant with some dry brush. Somehow, it caught on fire while I was downstairs and lit up the east side of my home very quickly. Fortunately, my neighbor saw it from her window as it spread onto my roof and she ran over immediately to help me evacuate my two sleeping children and take them to her house as to spare them the harsh reality about to transpire.

I returned trying to put out the fire myself with no success until the firemen arrived and insisted I leave my home immediately. Leave my valuables, computer, photos. It's hard to explain the devastation of a house fire. The senses are what I remember the most. The smell on everything. The suet smeared felt everywhere. The charred pieces of twisted iron, shattered glass and black water dripping from the ceiling. The silence of any kind of life existence. The voice in my head wondering where I will go now because Thanksgiving was coming.

I needed clothes, underwear, food...I was scared and weight of the world was felt on my shoulders.

My dear neighbor who saved us, a woman I dearly love, invited us to stay in her studio apartment about her garage. A very small space with a full sized bed and guest kitchen ironically looked out onto my burned house across the way. What a new, awful perspective.

My daughters clothes were saved. I washed them and preceded to go about life and take them to school as if it were another normal day. Truth be told, they saw this as an adventure and honestly, my attitude and approach with them was this- 'you keep doing what you do and be kids' and 'I will take care of all this mess as the leader of our family'. No worries. But I was plenty concerned as I laid on that bed unable to move with the tears falling down my face at what to do first. It was paralyzing.

I was struggling once again. Was it not enough to loose my husband 5 years prior? Looking back, that one year of renovating my home, maintaining my business, caring for my daughters solo and simply surviving again gave me a new appreciation for what I do have.

This catastrophe gave my dear friends the opportunity to do kind things for us. I learned to let them do it. My ego was demolished, just like my home. I lost many 'things' and realized those 'things' can be rented and borrowed. As an interior designer, I rented a whole home of furniture in our new rental home around the corner. I found myself making it ok.

The long hours of burning my 'personal candle' at both ends went towards an existence between two homes: one we lived in temporarily and one I owned that we'd move back into once I renovated. It was the worst year of my life! This dream home I loved was designed by both my late husband, an interior architect, and myself, an interior designer like I said. So this renovation was a very new start in many ways for me. I re-designed it the way I wanted, for Carolyn and not the way 'we' were in that house as a couple.

I think you will find it interesting to know that the ONLY area of my home that was damaged comprised of the Master Suite, porch, closet and bathroom I used to share happily with Chad... The area I could not bear sleeping in again after he died. Since then, I had occupied the Guest Bedroom and was quite content being across the hall from my young sleeping daughters. So, I often wonder, why did all this burn away? I believe God was at work here. In many ways, I was forced to move forward and to see what my future would hold.

One year later, a week before Thanksgiving, I moved back into my newly renovated home that was truly all mine. A home I felt was mine to do whatever I wanted from this point forward. I had earned that right fair and square. No one could say I had what I had because of my late husband.....I felt empowered that I was capable and I felt I could accomplish anything!! All my hard work inside and out was paying off. I will always remember this Thanksgiving of GREAT joy and gratitude. I was home once again.

I had let go and let God in this process. I knew without a shadow of doubt what it felt like to live by faith every second of the day. And you know what happened after that? TLC called and I began filming 'Shalom in the Home' right after the last driveway paver was put into place.

A few months after that, I sat next to Oprah on her stage in Chicago and the rest is history. I promised her to always be an inspiration to my girls first and foremost. Today, I'm thankful for what I do have. My daughters, my home, family, friends, Modern Widows Club, CLOVE, neighbors, New Hope for Kids, clients and most of all for God never never letting me go and always fulfilling James 1:27 where I am told that He will provide for the widows and their children. I have personally experienced this. It is beautiful.

So, today when I drive down to Servants Heart Center to pick up 12 Thanksgiving Turkey Baskets and give to my Modern Widows Club ladies, please know, I am very grateful for what I do have and today I am celebrating those who have lost so much. May God bless you and yours this Thanksgiving Day. If I have inspired you to be kind to ONE widow today, I have done my job here. Please find time to be kind to a widow today :)

Much love & hope for the widows in the world,
Carolyn Moor

P.S. One month after Thanksgiving, a tree fell on my house:) After that, I decided it was time to move onto another home and see what the future held for us. Best decision ever!
To be continued......

Live Your Legacy

"Yesterday I was honored to stand in front of a large group of 'Live Your Legacy Summit' attendees to accept the TOP award 'For supporting widows and designing your legacy through your hardship' and be the face of 1 million widows in this country, as well as, over 250 million widows worldwide. I certainly couldn't STAND up there alone and not bring YOU with me." 

The award was for the Orlando 2012 Live Your Legacy Summit hosted by Aurea McGarry, an Emmy Award winning outstanding TV Host whose goal is to uplift anyone who has found their life's passion and making a difference in the lives of others. 

Since Modern Widows Club is fairly new with its humble seeds planted in January 2012, I was very honored to be recognized by a panel of varied individuals (including children) who didn't know me personally but voted based on merit & facts. 

The whole day was a tribute to all inspiring topics. I heard encouragement like this:

- Find Your Truth (Kellie Lightbourne)
- Be Crazy Committed & Doggedly Determined (Coach Jenn Lee)
- L- Let Go & Let God (Woamtec President, Kathleen Hawkins)
  E- Empower Others
  G- Give, Before you Take
  A- Action & Accountability
  C- Cash Flow for You & Others
  Y- You, Take care of You
- Be a 10 Fold Marketer- Think of the good for others first (Marianne Carlson)
- Take care of the vehicle that will take you there- your Body! (Teresa Tapp)
- Never stop believing in yourself (Forbes Riley)

The Legacy Award caught me by surprise as I sat around friends who had come to cheer me on! Why? Because rarely do organizations who support widows get such recognition. Maybe the winds are changing and maybe all the hard work, weekends & nights are paying off. But honestly, if I inspired just ONE person to do something KIND for another widow in this world, I have done my job!!

Amen.

We have much to do together to bring justice, empowerment to the mentors we are becoming and the realistic 'hand up vs. hand down' support for widows worldwide. 
Move forward while reaching back is our motto. I'm honored and will continue to speak up for all of us!

Please share Modern Widows Club with anyone you know, our Facebook page is VERY active (and free). We are continuing to create & raise donations for our online magazine in production by B&C Designers in St. Louis. We will launch this as soon as 7K more is raised. I'm so grateful for the 3K donated so far which has kept the ball rolling with legal trademarking, non-profit filing, designing the wireframe & development costs. 

Here is a sneak peek ----->

Upcoming for MWC:

November 2-4- Chattanooga, TN

Visit Widows Harvest Ministries 

I want to know more about this successful widows movement.

November 10- Boston, MA

Speaking at 'Loss to Launch' with Second Firsts Christina Rasmussen, Kris Carlson of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and TEDx Coach KC Baker

November 15- Orlando, FL

MWC: Social Hour

Book Signing 'Finding Joy After Loss' with Author and Long standing MWC'er Vashon Sarkisian. We will also discuss sending 1.5 million Lego's to Nairobi, Kenya for a widows orphanage Hope for Orphans Rescue.

November 17- Orlando, FL

Thanksgiving Dinner Baskets distributed 

to all local MWC ladies & their children by Servant's Heart Center. 

Want on the list? Write me at carolyn@modernwidowsclub.com

Love to all of you, thank you for your continual love & support. May God bless you abundantly,

Carolyn Moor

Founder Modern Widows Club

Crack of Dawn

I often wonder about other peoples lives. 

Mostly when I've been awakened at 6am by an iphone alarm tone to make two lunches, drink a cleansing green protein shake with vitamins for breakfast and stumbling to find my flip flops as I run out the door at 6:45am with my teen daughters headed to drop them off at two different locations 5 miles apart. 

I'm the first person out of their driveway in the dark. I see the lights on in homes where I know their life is a bit easier, the overall workload of life is more equally distributed and there is more help in general to sustain, manage and support. 

I keep driving, talking with my daughters in the short one hour I have with them in the morning. I won't see them again for 12 hrs with a busy school life and both involved in rowing after school. They are usually very hungry and by 6:45pm, I will return to this role as provider. But until then, my life speeds up. 

The crack of dawn has passed and now, I am faced with choices. I can focus on fitness, a long house to-do list, my Modern Widows Club world, design job #1, design job #2, bills, teachers homework calendar for my daughters, mail, laundry, cleaning out my car, relax, read, organize, write or go back to bed. 

This morning, I choose to write down the blog post that I just rehearsed in my head as I drove home thinking about some future Dunkin Donuts Hazelnut coffee and my life.....as a widow. A single mom raising two girls since they were 2 and 4 years old. It's been a long, winding road full of celebrations, tears, triumphs, failures,  blessings and amazing surprises. 

I could write a pretty story here but the truth is, this life is difficult and riddled with challenges at every turn. Every day I awaken and know I'm behind before I even start. No one needs to tell me or talk me out of this. No fancy inspirational quote on Facebook is going to convince me any differently. I know the heartache of loosing a beloved spouse and then two weeks later everyone you know leaves and I'm on my own for the next 12 years to raise & financially support my daughters. It takes hard work, determination and looking in the right places for answers. 

We are brought up to believe that God, family, neighbors or government will be there for us, but from my experience God is the only one you can truly depend on. For us, family comes around occasionally for holidays, most often wanting us to travel to them, but there is a difference in expecting someone to be there after tragedy and knowing no one will be.

I greatly admire families who help each other in ways that are so beautiful it causes me to cry in seclusion from wanting this sometimes. But, in reality, I knew my family wouldn't be there for me, so I haven't used any energy trying to make them be something they aren't. I accepted the way it was, and spent my limited energy towards solutions and a life worth living for us. I became the leader we needed by living a no excuse life. 

Boldly and bravely, many times making decisions with my gut and vulnerable to the unknown. 

I created a family that has been there every step of the way with Modern Widows Club, my women's group C-LOVE, my church, lots of people I love who care for us deeply. It has nurtured me and I continue to fight the good fight because I know the sweetness of the rewards. 

In a days time, I exercise, cook, work, drive, manage, organize, create, garden, solve, talk, negotiate, produce, think, grow, try, pray, resolve, clean, dream, contemplate, discover, cry, breathe, love, mentor, remember, coordinate, inspire, wonder.....the list goes on. I go for 16 hrs long....every day.... dividing my time between all things that I manage and some that manage me. 

I don't lunch with ladies, play tennis, ride horses, play golf or do anything where time is of essence. Leisure means 'getting behind' for me. I catch it in between stop lights checking emails or texting a friend or 10 minutes sitting on my front porch before the girls get home at night. I take it whenever I can believe me!

I did that this weekend for my daughters birthday and now our cupboards are bare for lunches, I haven't made it to the gym, the laundry is piled up and I'm behind at work. 

When you wake up behind every day, taking time off means your return to reality is a very tough trek up 'responsibility mountain'. So, I try to stay on course with what I know works. Exercise & supplements for stamina, creativity & work for vigorous income and crack of dawn driving with my daughters & nighttime dinner then homework for love. 

I pray I can keep my small dwindling savings and college funds, my home, my vehicle, my insurance policies and food on our table. I don't take any of this for granted because I know it only takes a moment for life to change like you knew it before.  

I know no one is coming to rescue me...that person is ME! (I have a lot of faith in me and I know God keeps me close in his hands). I've been witness to the fact there is a big difference in talking about faith and living solely by faith. If you want to know what 'that' is really like, follow me around for a day starting at the crack of dawn.  

I'll keep on dreaming between all these realities and it is enough for today. 

Semper Fi = Always Faithful.

Sincerly,

Carolyn Moor

Western World Widows bring hope to Worldwide Widows with Kiva

You want to know one of my addictions? 

It's sponsoring third world widows with Kiva micro-loans. 

See what I mean.

From Mexico, El Salvador, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Nicaragua and the latest, Kenya. I started out small with a couple of $25 loans and then one of the ladies would pay me back...penny by penny until, I received the whole $25 back. 

What to do? 

Kiva allows you to receive it back, donate to Kiva or donate to another deserving woman! Of course, I roll it over and keep going. 

Recently, I had a beautiful Kenyan widow contact me through the Modern Widows Club Facebook Page asking to start an alliance, a new chapter in Kenya. We plan on featuring them when our new online MWC magazine launches next month, but for now, you can see their sneek peek photo here. 

The woman in the red shiny shirt is Roseline Orwa. We found out we have very much in common half way around the world. She is widowed, an advocate in her hometown welcoming other younger & older widows into her home, she's an interior decorator who loves planning events that benefit others. Isn't it amazing how God works out the details to be sure you know he is present. 

I'm not sure what is in store for our future but I can say this, I'm willing to make it happen on my end if anyone else is with me!! Let's be what the Dalai Lama said at the 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit- 'Western world women will save the world'. 

Personally, I think he meant western world widows will save the world.... but I'll take that up with him someday when we meet :) 

Will you please consider reaching out to a widow somewhere in the world at Kiva or on your own. 

Click here to follow my lead: http://www.kiva.org/invitedby/carolyn9237

Thank you for paying it forward, Carolyn Moor

Founder Modern Widows Club where

western world widows are bringing hope to worldwide widows. 

Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life/ Coming March 17, 2012

  

3 Hour Workshop

Why take this workshop? Because you benefit from 12 yrs of REAL widow experience and wisdom in Carolyn Moor. There is a reason Oprah asked to interview her in front of millions of viewers and asked how she's made it through. Let's cut to the chase.

In meeting Carolyn (or her daughters), you cannot tell she has suffered any kind of trauma but oh, she has tremendously. This is the mark of the extraordinary woman mentoring you. Take a big step towards feeling alive again. Not life as it was before (as good as it was), but what it CAN be now!

You may not feel like 'yourself' or 'all here', you might not be able to remember well, you may or may not care what others think, you might feel like life isn't worth living, but the truth is, that's your shadow talking, not YOU.

Your life has new signifigance now and although, this loss journey may be new to you....MANY have come before you and are thriving. Come learn from one, Carolyn Moor.

You are not alone, come join others who are in this with you. We will create 3 'take aways' uniquely related to finding your joy, peace and meaning in all this pain. You'll hear stories, maybe share your own. Life will take on a new motivation and understanding after this workshop. You will surprise yourself.  

If you have read this far and feel anxiety about signing up, please, I encourage you to MAKE the time to do this for yourself. It's hard to believe 3 hrs can make a difference, but it can by simply 'changing your mind' to do so. 

Carolyn developed a 'sticky note vision' exercise that catches you pleasantly by surprise. 

Just ask anyone who has taken this workshop. You walk away with new perspectives and a vision for your life. This is not a pity party, this is finding the 'better' instead of the 'bitter' and we will have fun. Believe it. 

Register/click here: Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life, March 17th (Yes, I know its St. Patty's Day- so wear green for 'growth)  for $45 you could be ONE of the 8 women to begin this process and be inspired. Held at New Hope for Kids in Maitland, FL


Please share, encourage your widowed friends to spend 3hrs with me. Sponsor her, drive her, do what it takes to love the in practical ways.

See you there,

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club

Photos from past workshops--->

Everyone leaves with a smile :)

7 Great Ideas for any Valentine's Day Widow

Let's face it...you have no idea what to get that woman, that widow in your life. Whether she is your sweetie, neighbor, friend or stranger, finding something kind, precious, useable and loving can be a challenge. To make it even easier, I'm going to list the most time consuming to the least time consuming so you can fit this into your life. Just do it. 

1- Smilebox Video 

'Turn Little Moments into Big Smiles" is their slogan. It may take several hours, loss of some hair and add a few wrinkles to create only 2 minutes of enjoyment , but it will last forever certain to make her smile!

If you have access to photos, you can create a fun, easy customized video to email or post on their FB as a surprise. Really easy to do. You can grab photos from Facebook or any collection. They have the fun stuff....music, layouts etc. Addicting. I create two every year for my daughters. This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it. 

To PLAY click here:

2- Kid Sitting!

Mama needs a break, do I need to say more? Do it for a few hours or a weekend so she can go on a girls trip. Heck, for that matter, present them with a ticket to fly off or cruise away. But, ensure her that their children will be FINE!! That's the golden ticket. This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it.

3- Lawn Service or Handyman Weekend! 

My first year being widowed, I had two men step up and become my official 'Lawn Guy' and 'Handyman' and to this day, I am sooooo grateful. (Shirt optional) This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it. 

4- Crowd Share- Introduce a new activity!

With Living Social, Groupon, DealMap, you can virtually introduce something new, for a reduced price and engage back into the big world out there like never before. Don't let your pocketbook or lack of knowledge stifle your creativity. 

DealMap is interesting because Google totally customizes it for where you work, live or hangout. They will send you deals near you. You'll be surprised how little you know about the town you live in...so many great businesses and activities. 

Example 1: Sports- My daughter is into CREW, but I really don't understand the sport. I bought a rowing lesson for me and my friend to try together. $40 bucks later, it was a great time together full of laughs, exercise, living and empowerment. 

Example 2: Design Consult- My friend's home was 'stuck in a moment', she needed a little design advice to bring some life and sunshine into her home. I recommended buying a $60 design consult deal on Living Social. So she gifted it to her friend. 

Example 3- Oil Changes- a MWC'er collects money to give out oil changes to other widows. 

Widows rarely spend money on themselves, find something like a massage or nail salon. Think about what she'd love to experience. This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it.

5- Eat out tonight on me! 

You can never go wrong with restaurant cards. Just make sure it's a restaurant you know she will like and really look forward to. Check out Restaurant.com for discounts to her favorite place so she can take the whole family and get a bigger bang for your buck. 

The brownie point here 'she doesn't have to cook or clean up'!!!

This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it. 

6- Think about mentoring her kids!

This is wide open- what are you good at? Teach that to her children. 

This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it. 

7- Honor the person they lost!

-Write them a letter sharing special memorable moments that only you can share. 

This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it.

-Become an organ donor.  

This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it.

-Support another widow in a third-world country with Kiva Loans. 

This gift is so valuable I can't put a price on it.

Any gift you can't put a price on will work.

Happy Valentine's Day. 

Feel free to share your own ideas and comments to this blog. 

Idea Lady,

Carolyn Moor

Founder of Modern Widows Club