Friday, December 2, 2011

Blue Holiday Lights

'Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree'.....oh, shut up already! 

I used to dread the holidays. Let's just face it. It seemed everyone around me was happy about it and I just wanted it to be o-o-ver....really.... If I was honest with myself.

One year, begrudgingly, I decorated my house in all blue lights. I honestly said to myself, 'OK, I'll put up lights, but only blue lights because I feel soooo blue!'

I had always driven by houses in blue and thought it was so mesmerizing....but I honestly never wanted it for myself. I liked twinkling 'colored lights', they seemed so much happier. 

So as the holiday went by, I started to miss the colored lights. I started to miss 'ME'! And even stranger and funnier, everyone started to ask if I was Jewish (I am not and I dearly love my Jewish friends)

Although, I thought I was hiding how I felt about my sadness, resistance to see the love & joy that was existent around this time of year, I was clearly sending out a desperate message of 'I'm blue'. I was isolating myself....intentionally.
Well, it's perfectly fine to not know how you feel about the holidays. But somewhere inside of you there is a knowing that others want to be there for you..... to sit, have tea, say they care and share a loving moment. I encourage you to allow as many of these as you can handle. Don't hold back, reach out--> You don't have to be 'blue' alone.

Holiday Hugs,