Tuesday, January 31, 2012

What I know for sure!


What do you KNOW for sure? 


Does anyone see those articles on the very back page of Oprah  magazine? (or online)
Well, I always seem to be drawn to them, not because I care what Oprah knows 'for sure'....because they turn back around pointing the finger at ME and I start asking myself 'What do I know for sure?' 




'For sure' is a tough one when you become a widow, because nothing looks certain. 


So, I never really asked myself this question until about 5 yrs ago when I was on a surprise date with an influential man who was a mayor of a big deal town. After our date and my walking in heels for many blocks in the city, we sat down finally in my hotel room where he offered to give me a footrub. I let him. 


During that intimate moment, he asked me a question- 'What do you believe in?' and my heart started to race nervously. I was stumped. I wanted to answer the 'right way' and I wanted him to approve of my answer. I had stars in my eyes for this man and I felt like any potential future with him might hinge on this one moment of sharing 'what I believed in'. 




I fumbled and stumbled, I felt inferior. I froze and admitted 'I wasn't sure.' Was he meaning spiritually, metaphorically or realistically. I started analyzing the answer and he quietly said again 'Just tell me what you believe in!'. 


He left that night and I laid in bed looking up at the white ceiling and thinking 'why couldn't I tell him?'. It made me wonder who I was and what my convictions really were. I had been living life and doing life with what I felt like I believed in, but in fact, I couldn't share these beliefs at a moment of important significance.


I've spent the last 5 yrs not only discovering what I believe in but being able to share it at the drop of a hat. Listed below are just a few. I welcome you to write and share yours with me if you know or maybe recommitting to finding out this year. 


~I believe that God has a much bigger plan for me (and everyone) than our pea brains can conceive.
~I believe I'm a widow, single mom of two daughters who are meant to witness a warrior mom because they will need this example for their own purpose in this world. 
~I believe life is right before your eyes if you look with God Goggles on.
~I believe that Jesus is my greatest mentor and I look forward to meeting him someday. I attempt daily to be a fraction of his example. Whether you believe in him or not, he is awe-inspiring. 
~I believe love is our universal language that makes all things good. 
~I believe it matters where you grew up and who you know, but I also believe it can become a negative or positive in your life if you see it that way. 
~I believe a vacation is the best medicine.
~I believe that my Macbook Pro is a lifeline. 
~I believe my cat Maggie taught me how to trust in love again.
~I believe you can't walk out of your own story, no matter how hard you try. 
~I believe we all have divine ingredients; discovering them allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
~I believe that every person I meet is a messenger and I'm meant to seek out the message.
~I believe that I will always want to live near water
~I believe life is short and bittersweet


Thank you for listening and being in my life. 
Carolyn Moor
www.modernwidowsclub.com