Friday, November 4, 2011

When the heart waits

tumblr_lmwmcuSJT51ql8hw7o1_500_thumb There are many books that have led me down the path of widowhood, you will certainly find them. Stories of overcoming, struggling, insight and journey. One particular book was helpful for me in the dark nights I spent alone. It was an older book that I bought for a few dollars. It’s about spiritual direction to life’s sacred questions…because no doubt when death looms near you, you are curious about the higher meaning and purpose of this incident.
All I can tell you is this; I felt like I was moving at a slower pace than everyone else. Was it because I spent so much time missing my loved one? Was it because I just didn’t want to awaken from the peace I found in sleeping- where he would visit me sometimes? Was it life had really changed and I unconsciously, emotionally couldn’t  keep up? I don’t know.
All I do know, is this little vintage book helped. It talks of things like ‘waiting and transformation’, ‘passage to separation’, passage of emergence’….It’s packed full of quotes like this: T.S. Eliot ‘I said to my soul, be still, and wait….So the darkenss shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

I had never read a Sue Monk Kidd book before this one (many of you know her from ‘Secret Life of Bees’), but I’m certainly grateful someone introduced me to it. I have marked it up and put so many sticky notes in it to remember key points~ I could never let anyone borrow it, although I should. I’m just saying, have your highlighter handy, you will need it.
In the book ‘When the Heart Waits’  she says “Overcoming my resistance to waiting meant coming to terms with the ‘still journey’. I would have to give up the compulsion to keep my line moving at the world’s pace. I would need to find my own pace, one that flowed with the rhythms of the earth and the Spirit, not the frenzy of modern life.”
…..or the frenzy of the modern widows life. You are grieving at your own pace, find peace in that. It’s what we hope you find.