Friday, November 4, 2011

Doubt, doubt...go away!

Northland Video 5 http://dl.dropbox.com/u/37274334/CAROLYN_092511.m4v 
When grief takes a hold of you, doubt usually likes to dance along with it. There is nothing like having to face the death of someone you love to shake everything you believe in….for some, it makes belief stronger, but for others, they can reject everything they believed in. Nothing makes sense .
I used to say I felt like an alien in my life. It’s as if I woke up in a different world in which my old self was living within. Have you ever thought this?
I’m here to say, its not just you. Your heart is broken, but there is hope. Your mind is still in tact. Yes, it is….you are thinking right now, processing this paragraph as you read it. What I love about you is this, you are seeking answers, pieces of your puzzle are coming. This is very good and proves that light inside of you is flickering.

You may feel alone in the silence you find yourself in at times, but I promise you, you are not alone….at all. Life is waiting to connect to you in so many ways that you must consciously choose it. I know answering a friends phone call, opening the door when a friend knocks, returning an email leaves you sitting frozen with thoughts that ‘no one understands’. But we do here at Modern Widows Club.
Doubt will come when you least expect it, it seeps into that little voice in your head when you are resting or taking a break from the pain. When I was in EMDR therapy (eye movement desensitization reprocessing), I was required to visualize a ‘safe spot’ in my mind. Whenever, life got too hard, my emotions became too overwhelming…I would touch my wrist and that was my sign to ‘go to the safe spot’. I still use it today in the real world…..in my car, walking on the bike path, in a mall shopping….whenever I feel pain rising up and a mini breakdown about to erupt.

My safe spot is the memory of daffodil fields and blackberry bushes along a dirt road, with the sound of a nearby stream of water and the smell of hundreds of yellow narcissus and the sunshine filtering through the clouds. It’s a memory from my childhood when I knew no fear. When I felt a natural divine connection, my relationship with God was easy. I didn’t want answers to complex questions of ‘why’….I just accepted what came next in my life and lived in the moment. 

At the very top of this post, I’ve added a link to a video that is my special gift to you. It is a recent interview taken of me 11 yrs after I suffered grief at its worst. I was hopeless back then…..but I’m not anymore. I’ve created a life that I’m honored to live each day and now share with you.
Today, I encourage you to find what that looks like for you. Use your brain power, respect your heart, find a safe spot and grow each day. You are loved tremendously. 
Many blessings to you, Carolyn Moor

 P.S. In my workshops, I teach how to use simple sticky notes to find hope and answers in your grieving process. It is my honor to share this divine knowledge bestowed to me in a most surprising way. I’d love to meet you, relieve any of your pain and see a smile upon your face. You are not alone in this.