Letter to 'Little' Carolyn

A few years ago, my mentor & life coach asked me to write a letter to myself as a child. What would I say to 'her' after almost 50 yrs of experience. It was an interesting exercise that left me ignited with positivity. I'd recommend this very personal exercise to anyone. 

I'm being vulnerable and very open with sharing this, so please bear with me. Soon, Modern Widows Club online magazine will launch and we will welcome you sharing your stories & letters to your 'inner child'. 

Sincerely,

Carolyn Moor

MWC Founder/ Editor

Dear ‘Little’ Carolyn,                                                              July 2008

You are special. You are going to experience an abundant life and you are going to be strong and courageous.

Those dreams in your head are ‘seeds’ for your future- hold onto them until you see them come true! Don’t give up because you my dear have the determination like no other to actually see it through. YOUR ideas will bring others alive—they will see your enthusiasm and follow your lead. You have the ability to help others see their own dreams.

Be patient with yourself, be kinder to people- especially your family. You will learn a great deal about yourself from your family experiences and that knowledge will benefit you when you have your own family someday.

Life isn’t always going to seem like it makes sense- but, to God it does.

If you keep remembering that God is the father you look to for everything, you will no doubt be a grateful person for everything in your life. Humanely fathers are meant to protect, support you, but will fail you in some way.

Humans are not perfect, and that is why we have forgiveness. There will be lots of forgiveness.

Being humble is also a hard one- especially for you little miss independent! No one will teach you how to do this and your own nature will prevent you from seeing the value & necessity of this—but you will learn it as life goes on. Unfortunately, the hard way! All a part of God’s plan….so, again, have patience.

The good news is your suffering will end with you. And your children will benefit from all of your experiences and will definitely flourish in life. Rest assured.

You know innately how to make good choices for yourself- listen to that inner voice and trust that God will bring into your life everything you’ve ever imagined and hoped.

You will always be safe and protected, so be sure to be grateful for each day, each person and each breathe.

There is so much to do with a LIFE and so much for you to become. Be happy when you find it and during the process—especially the PROCESS…. because that’s a beautiful part that should not be overlooked.

Plant flowers, smile, share yourself, cry if you feel it, have those difficult talks, surprise yourself, do something strange, swim naked, lay in the grass, feel the sun on your face, pet a kitten and make it purr, watch a mommy bird bring worms to her chicks, eat fresh foods, smell the roses, jasmine & daffodils, surround yourself in orange, mentor a young girl, be open minded to knowledge, read God’s Words, listen when someone is talking to you, make others feel understood, admit when you are really wrong, take time to really care and act on that caring, share- share- share what God gives you, read, learn new words everyday, create a peaceful bedroom, know you are loved more than you could ever imagine, find something you love to do and get paid for it, tell others close to you about your fears and then let them go, journal, take your arms and wrap them around yourself (yes, give hugs to yourself daily), feel the peace within.

Love,

Carolyn Caple Moor (the ‘older’ Carolyn)

Western World Widows bring hope to Worldwide Widows with Kiva

You want to know one of my addictions? 

It's sponsoring third world widows with Kiva micro-loans. 

See what I mean.

From Mexico, El Salvador, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Nicaragua and the latest, Kenya. I started out small with a couple of $25 loans and then one of the ladies would pay me back...penny by penny until, I received the whole $25 back. 

What to do? 

Kiva allows you to receive it back, donate to Kiva or donate to another deserving woman! Of course, I roll it over and keep going. 

Recently, I had a beautiful Kenyan widow contact me through the Modern Widows Club Facebook Page asking to start an alliance, a new chapter in Kenya. We plan on featuring them when our new online MWC magazine launches next month, but for now, you can see their sneek peek photo here. 

The woman in the red shiny shirt is Roseline Orwa. We found out we have very much in common half way around the world. She is widowed, an advocate in her hometown welcoming other younger & older widows into her home, she's an interior decorator who loves planning events that benefit others. Isn't it amazing how God works out the details to be sure you know he is present. 

I'm not sure what is in store for our future but I can say this, I'm willing to make it happen on my end if anyone else is with me!! Let's be what the Dalai Lama said at the 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit- 'Western world women will save the world'. 

Personally, I think he meant western world widows will save the world.... but I'll take that up with him someday when we meet :) 

Will you please consider reaching out to a widow somewhere in the world at Kiva or on your own. 

Click here to follow my lead: http://www.kiva.org/invitedby/carolyn9237

Thank you for paying it forward, Carolyn Moor

Founder Modern Widows Club where

western world widows are bringing hope to worldwide widows. 

Always Wear Your Invisible Crown

Anyone who has found themselves at the crossroads in life knows it's a perspective shifting experience. An invisible portal into another world that is shaking things up for you whether you want it or not.

Somewhere along the line for me, I realized something interesting that I always share when I mentor other widows....that we are wearing invisible crowns handed to us from a divine place of honor that is very misunderstood in the beginning.

You see, I was a queen, but not in the sense that we usually think of a queen. I certainly was not being pampered or waited on hand and foot, but I was in charge of something vitally important and regal. And that is- this one life that God has blessed me with.

I reluctantly, yet finally, accepted my crown and have spent many years collecting jewels that I swear people can actually see now. Like any crown you've ever seen, it is comprised of two key ingredients: metal & jewels.

These two components have great symbolism if you think about it.

 Iron, as in 'iron sharpens iron', is symbolic for spiritual, unseen guides- spirits, saints, G-d, Jesus, angels,  fill in the blank _______ are quite literally around you at all times.... you are never alone. This guidance is omnipresent and literally holds us up in times when we need the borrowed strength. It is our court of majesty.

These spiritual guides are our very own 'divine net' which is meant to catch you if you fall, as opposed to, constrict you from moving along in this mission. Recognizing when we feel stuck in life, trapped in a scenario is the exact moment you need to visualize your 'net' differently. Are you stuck or free to fly? Which is it? You are the queen of your court...rule the land.

When you were born, you were uniquely encoded with the likeness of God in the image of man...some call this the soul essence and this essence gives you a direct lineage for the inborn knowingness to unlock your own spiritual potential to fly. In jumping off the springboard of life, you instinctively know there is a net to catch you, and when you do, you discover new jewels of wisdom, new heights of adventure and your own spiritual core. You find jewels like peace, joy and love.

Just as jewels (real precious stones) develop under pressure, so will your ownership of certain jewels that will be placed upon your invisible crown. Large and small, the design will be created.

That saying 'she has light in her eyes' very much applies here. As a modern widow, being aware of the light giving quality in your eyes is very important to get back again. Look into a persons eyes (mine happen to be green) and tell me, can you see their soul?

You are the queen, the princess of your own domain. You are on a royal mission possible, damn it. Quite simply, as a widow, you have been chosen for this jewel scavenger hunt. I'm afraid it didn't just happen randomly, you were 'blessed and honored with this crown'....there was a divineness, a knowing that you would heed the call and God knew you would claim it someday...is today that day?

Unfortunately, when you don't claim it and instead refuse to stand up, answer, bravely walk into the unknown of your own life--your light will become a mere flicker....you become dim, shadow, you grow dark, which usually exhibits itself outwardly as depression, fear, resistance, uncertainty, hesitation, indecision, saying 'no' when you 'know' you should say yes. In this state, you are running backwards away from your fate instead of stepping forwards towards your royal destiny.

Stepping forwards may mean getting out of bed, driving yourself to a friend who listens, picking up the phone to sign up for that class you've always wanted to take. It's doing anything other than sitting still with your thoughts. Move it or loose it.....after all, you've got jewels to excavate and a beautiful design in process.

I'm inviting you to own your invisible crown today. Upon falling asleep this evening, just quietly say to yourself 'Where am I needed as I wear this invisible crown?' The subconscious will respond mysteriously.... abundantly... surprisingly, you are on your way to finding experiences that are nothing short of fullness, beauty, gratitude and life. The shining of your prisms are needed in this world, it matters tremendously how you choose to wear this crown.

Shining in Gratitude,

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club

Our online magazine is under construction- to be launched soon....we promise. 

I have a Dream this International Widow's Day 2012

Today is International Widow's Day.
I am a widow.....and I have a Dream!

-I dream of a day when widows don't have to worry about their future.
-I dream of a day that widows are seen as seasoned women.
-I dream of a day where widows don't use the widow card or crutch and show the world what an amazing women exists inside that 'label'
-I dream of a world where widows are a blessing to communities
-I dream of a town that embraces widows and shows up to mow their lawns, trim their trees, wash their cars, change their oil, lift boxes, help them move, bring them food, drive them to church, mentor their children, teach them a new skill, sit and listen as they cry and pray every night for their peace.
-I dream of widows growing into extraordinary human beings and raising the bar for ALL humans with grace and compassion.
-I dream of love to arrive again, men who desire to date a woman with some baggage and loving them enough to help unpack it.
-I dream of a day when the widow accidentally finds herself happy, fulfilled and giving to others because God has fulfilled his promise to renew her spirit.
-I dream of a day every widow in the world knows they are loved and respected.
-I have a dream that everyone will see the invisible crown I wear daily and it is a beautiful thing.

Modern Widows Club is located in Orlando and Kansas City. Our super new online magazine will launch August 1, 2012. Stay tuned and sign up to receive monthly. You've never seen anything like this, advise & tips just for us. 

Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life/ Coming March 17, 2012

  

3 Hour Workshop

Why take this workshop? Because you benefit from 12 yrs of REAL widow experience and wisdom in Carolyn Moor. There is a reason Oprah asked to interview her in front of millions of viewers and asked how she's made it through. Let's cut to the chase.

In meeting Carolyn (or her daughters), you cannot tell she has suffered any kind of trauma but oh, she has tremendously. This is the mark of the extraordinary woman mentoring you. Take a big step towards feeling alive again. Not life as it was before (as good as it was), but what it CAN be now!

You may not feel like 'yourself' or 'all here', you might not be able to remember well, you may or may not care what others think, you might feel like life isn't worth living, but the truth is, that's your shadow talking, not YOU.

Your life has new signifigance now and although, this loss journey may be new to you....MANY have come before you and are thriving. Come learn from one, Carolyn Moor.

You are not alone, come join others who are in this with you. We will create 3 'take aways' uniquely related to finding your joy, peace and meaning in all this pain. You'll hear stories, maybe share your own. Life will take on a new motivation and understanding after this workshop. You will surprise yourself.  

If you have read this far and feel anxiety about signing up, please, I encourage you to MAKE the time to do this for yourself. It's hard to believe 3 hrs can make a difference, but it can by simply 'changing your mind' to do so. 

Carolyn developed a 'sticky note vision' exercise that catches you pleasantly by surprise. 

Just ask anyone who has taken this workshop. You walk away with new perspectives and a vision for your life. This is not a pity party, this is finding the 'better' instead of the 'bitter' and we will have fun. Believe it. 

Register/click here: Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life, March 17th (Yes, I know its St. Patty's Day- so wear green for 'growth)  for $45 you could be ONE of the 8 women to begin this process and be inspired. Held at New Hope for Kids in Maitland, FL


Please share, encourage your widowed friends to spend 3hrs with me. Sponsor her, drive her, do what it takes to love the in practical ways.

See you there,

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club

Photos from past workshops--->

Everyone leaves with a smile :)

31 Tips for Extraordinary Widows

1- Start a gratitude journal and use daily

2-Exercise daily and drink a lot of water

3-Practice unselfish kindness

4-Expect the best, prepare for the worst

5- Write an affirmation on your mirror in lipstick

6-Say daily 'Abundance flows into my life in surprising and miraculous ways on a daily basis'

7-Plan your day

8-Always wear your invisible crown

9- Feel like a woman, not a widow

10-Wear your invisible crown

11-Get a mentor

12-Choose one day to not talk about your late husband

13-Have 5 close friends and see them often

14-Turn off the TV, walk outside and touch something in nature

15-Know your 5 top strengths (Strength Finders 2.0 by Tom Rath), then use them

16-Fall in love with simple pleasures

17-Travel more

18-Honor your loved ones

19-Make your life matter starting today

20-Focus on the ways you plan on leaving a legacy (write your obituary)

21-Never miss a moment to celebrate

22-Trust in the unknown

23-Give forgiveness often

24-Create memory boxes for every family member

25-Record a video for your children sharing your very detailed love story (have a tissue box near by)

26- Learn how to save, spend and donate your money

27-Be a heroine to another widow

28-Be authentic

29-Be honest about what really makes you happy and just do it

30- Write a hand written letter to someone you love explaining why

31- Watch the movie 'Avatar' and notice how strong tribe mothers are portrayed in cinema

What could have been.

As I sit here and write this post, I wonder where you are at this moment. I wonder how many months, or years it has been since you lost someone you love. In particularly this week, the death anniversary of my late husband, I find myself remembering all the things that 'could have been'. 

Father daughter dances. Graduation. Talks about boys. Walking down the aisle. Holding a grandchild for the first time. 

Many thoughts so painfully real that it leaves me unable to breathe. 

This Valentine's Day was my 12th year being a widow. I allow myself to fully feel the loss on this day- to remember what could have been. It hurts. Badly. There's so much I wanted but I will never have. 

After the tears, the photo box overload, the isolation, the writing letters and the intrepid trip down memory lane, I can bravely say I have come to a new place called 'what could be'. 

What could be is at the very essence of where Modern Widows Club was born. To me, I was a widow second and a woman first. I needed to get back to being a woman again. So, I decided to see if there were any other women like me, who thought like this. And you know what? I found them. You are probably one of them, maybe you know one. 

Let me share some of the 'what could be' thoughts I discovered at our MWC: Social Hour last night around the fire.

~It's ok to say 'I'm happy' and not feel guilty. It's ok to change your mind tomorrow. 

~MWC is a destination along your journey.

~Your sisters at MWC are fanning your inner flame that will become a glowing fire.

~We are unassuming heroines with blessed wounds that have shaped our character.

~When it feels like nothing is happening, something actually is happening, you just don't know it yet. 

~With dating again, the options are unlimited. Becoming at peace with the fact you may or may not have another partner in life just may save you from making a serious mistake. What is important to remember is you loved in this life and be thankful it happened to you.

~Plant a lot of seeds in your life. Some will grow fast, some won't.

~You are first, a woman, second, a widow. Become it. 

~At MWC, we show each other our authentic selves --even when we don't know who that is!

~Widows who focus on being a woman can be uplifting and inspiring to all women who fear widowhood in their future. We become the lighthouse of hope across all boundaries. 

~Sometimes bravely saying 'I'm grateful, but goodbye' to a situation that is not honoring to your life is the best solution. You're going to need a higher power and friends to reach out and make it through. 

The women of Modern Widows Club are wise, brave, relevant and vital to society. They are fragile and yet strong. They are different and it's a good thing. Men want to date them, but they don't even know it. Women look up to them, and they shy away from it. People whisper about widows, and now, we have something to whisper about! 

Become 'what could be'..... 

Breathe again. 

Hope again. 

Peace again. 

Happy again. 

Thrive again. 

Friend again. 

Grateful again.

Yes, we are different, we wear invisible crowns, thank goodness. 

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club- 

Talk to us on Facebook today! 

A Modern Widow. Does she look like you thought?