Modern Widows Club Magazine is for You!

One year ago, I had a dream. I certainly see myself as a dreamer. This dream was to create a connection point for widows that was approachable, friendly and trustworthy to mentor widows starting with my own home town of Orlando, FL and eventually extending my reach all over the world. 

But with all dreams, there are so many unanswered and curious questions to resolve before the reality of that dream is realized. 

This is why I spent over a year creating Modern Widows Club Magazine. An online resource where we could all connect, read articles from other inspirational men and women who have lost a spouse and yet, found a way to move forward while reaching back. 

Their pain has found purpose and so will yours.

MWC Magazine 

That's why we are a widows mentoring organization. Mentoring is the answer to connect us all. Mentors are friends who care deeply enough to not turn away from what they know and instead reach back with who they are today. 

Actually, to be forthcoming, I had several dreams. Not just the conscious dreaming we do when we'd rather be doing something else. I had subconscious dreams in my sleep of making a global impact on improving other widows day to day living. After all, I had actually survived and thrived after 13 yrs along this widowed journey. I knew the power of God Boxes (my MacBook Pro) and my mini God Box (my iPhone). I knew there was a way to reach you.

And as hard as I tried to walk into a new life as a single woman, a solo parent and a lone entrepreneur, there was one thing that was missing. 

That one thing is YOU!

Like every widow whose life has been torn to pieces, feeling the foundation crumble below you and being left confused at what you believe in anymore.....I just wanted to become somewhat 

normal again. 

To me, I was the wrong person to launch a dream like this. I didn't have the time, money, know how or even desire at first. I was just trying to make sound decisions, keep all my glass balls in the air and hoping for the best. But other widows would find me and ask to have coffee, lunch, dinner, phone call and I kept saying yes. 

I guess I should of suspected as much after sitting on Oprah's sofa.

But that's not why I did this. 

I did this because it found me.  When someone would call me (or more than likely handed off from someone who didn't know what to do with their widowed friend) I'd sit and encourage them by consciously showing up, caring to listen and remember along with them. I used the only thing I really have....myself. It really is that simple. Like Rick Warren says 'When people are in deep pain and need a friend - show up and shut up!'

'Normal' in the dictionary means to be in accordance to a norm, a standard or regular pattern. As you know, being widowed is far from that. It's actually the direct opposite, the synonym to normal. One of the synonyms I discovered was the word 'unnatural'. 

Now there is a word I can relate to! Being widowed feels unnatural doesn't it?  It's a variance with what feels normal or what I expected my life to be. It feels like a violation of natural law. 

But what is very natural is to love. To care and love another is what brought me to you. I've known a broken heart, I've known fear, I've known loss and I've known helplessness. But I'm here to tell you, you will again know love. You will again see love in action all around you. It will be in very simple things or enormous moments of grace. 

Half the battle is tuning your eyes to see what is natural to you in this unnatural experience. To allow this natural desire to love something and be loved back to come to you in a new form other than the person you lost and loved. 

Love is big people. 

Someone needs you. 

Watch this video and hear as I share this on Growing Bolder TV. 

After I filmed this video, I soon started to have dreams about 

Modern Widows Club. 

A place where I am loved and I could love other widows. 

It was really this simple. 

Now, we have an online magazine, 4 National Chapters and 1 International Chapter. We are growing and it's because widows are speaking up, reaching out, doing something and reaching back.

 It's a beautiful thing. 

Will you join us? I hope so. 

Together we can live James 1:27 and bring joy and compassion to widows by simply caring 

and being kind. 

On June 23, we will celebrate 2013 International Widow's Day along with UN Women and The Noomba Foundation. We would love for everyone to mark it on their calendars to 'Social Media' our magazine to the world. Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Blogs, Tumblr, Waywire, Magazines, Groups, Social Circles, Companies, Grief Organizations, Pinterest and beyond. 

~ You can help by being our very own PR and Marketing Team ~ 

Even if only one widow finds us and is filled with hope, it's well worth it ~ Don't you think?  

With heartfelt love, 

Carolyn Moor

MWC Founder 

Subscribe here today and find your place.

Come on over to my home (Every 3rd Thursday)

 Orlando, FL June 20

or

Meet me:

 Tallahassee, FL June 10-11

Phoenix, AZ July 3-5

Sedona, AZ July 5-8

Estes Park, CO July 17

Denver, CO July 18-19

Seattle, WA July 20-22

Las Vegas, NV July 22-24

Write: info@modernwidowsclub.com

What Death has Taught Me about Living

How can death teach about living when while I'm living all I do is completely avoid death. 

But it's true. 

Death has taught me everything about living and I'm sure its taught you a lot too!

I'm going to shock you here and even say 'I'm grateful for death'. Grateful that my broken open heart brought golden lessons with a silver lining.

Last week, I turned a half a century, that's right, the big 50! My days leading up to that point felt very introspective and I decided to share what I've joyfully & painstakingly learned in the last 13 yrs about how death has completely given me a new perspective on living!

My Living Lessons:

~ After death has visited your door, the world changes from dark, gray, muted tones. Slowly shades of color start to seep in without you knowing and ending up hopefully, living technicolor. You will notice this happening in your clothes and interior spaces. So watch for it. Open the shades, let the yellow sunshine in and wear hot pink. Just own it and refuse to be dulled by death. 

~ Being mediocre isn't acceptable anymore, so I'll continue to strive for extraordinary. 

~ I accept that I'm human-- through and through, mistakes became opportunities, became experiences, became wisdom. Make decisions even if you feel they may be a mistake, it will lead you somewhere wise. 

~ I like my life to be driven by love not fear. I'm the one who knows which is which. No need to talk to a therapist, girlfriend, coach or rabbi. Get quiet and accept the truth. Fear is felt differently in your body than love. Don't tell me you can't tell the difference! Don't worry about what you will have to do after truth comes, truth has a way of guiding you to good places. 

~ Guess what? Tomorrow everything changes. Smile.

~ My capacity for love has grown exponentially the moment I lost what I thought love was. Death taught me that love is much bigger, much deeper, much wider than I ever knew for myself & others. Especially others. As my love grew for others, so did my love for myself. Then respect, forgiveness, failure, risk, fulfillment & dreams came after that. Funny how that happens.  

~ I've pulled many thorns out of my heart and given them time to heal. It feels good to know who I am.. good and bad. I have to accept it all. 

~ My hair may turn grey, my face wrinkled and my body soften-- I'm ok with this as long as the sparkle in my eyes remain. 

~ Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything everything is a lesson.

~ I've come to peace with the pain I've experienced in life. It taught me to have courage and challenge what is not familiar. It taught me to let go of always wanting safety, comfort or control in every situation. They say every 7 yrs you grow a completely new person from cellular turn over. I'm almost two people separated from when death found me. I'm literally NOT that person!

~ God already knows, let him do his job. Move out of the way.

~ I think my heart is getting younger while my body gets older.

~ I feel moor free and liberated today than I've ever felt. I've paid the price for it.

~ I'm happy that I am happy every day I wake up. I have a choice to be happy the rest of the day. 

~ When you die, you will have a looooong to-do-list somewhere that you WILL NOT finish! I know, I found Chad's after he died. It left an impression on me in many, many ways. 

~ Death hasn't taken anything from me, in contrast, death is constantly giving me life. I appreciate life now more than EVER! I know, no one is promised tomorrow. No one. 

~ My most favorite words 'I will and I can'. Try them sometime. They are worth sharing. 

~ Right timing is everything. Timing everything is not right. Everything will work out in its own right time. Right!

~ I have a greater desire for pure simple pleasures in life. I don't just desire them, I need them. The way the sea washes up on the shore, a feathers luminosity, how an animal moves, busy busy ant hills, the sound of kitty purring, soft fabric on my face, chimes in the wind, water on my face and the smell of fresh nectarines. My senses want more from life. All of precious life. 

~ I must give the world what is uniquely ME. Others will not recognize it at first, it will be a brand new something that is needed in the world. So if its weird, misunderstood, strange, controversial, puzzling, challenging, impossible....then you might be on to something, keep going!

        

 What are your life lessons, are you keeping track of what death has taught you about living? I hope you enjoyed these. Just a few words of wisdom from a girl full of dreams for her next half a century! 

Love to you infinitely,

Carolyn Moor

Founder MWC

Live Your Legacy

"Yesterday I was honored to stand in front of a large group of 'Live Your Legacy Summit' attendees to accept the TOP award 'For supporting widows and designing your legacy through your hardship' and be the face of 1 million widows in this country, as well as, over 250 million widows worldwide. I certainly couldn't STAND up there alone and not bring YOU with me." 

The award was for the Orlando 2012 Live Your Legacy Summit hosted by Aurea McGarry, an Emmy Award winning outstanding TV Host whose goal is to uplift anyone who has found their life's passion and making a difference in the lives of others. 

Since Modern Widows Club is fairly new with its humble seeds planted in January 2012, I was very honored to be recognized by a panel of varied individuals (including children) who didn't know me personally but voted based on merit & facts. 

The whole day was a tribute to all inspiring topics. I heard encouragement like this:

- Find Your Truth (Kellie Lightbourne)
- Be Crazy Committed & Doggedly Determined (Coach Jenn Lee)
- L- Let Go & Let God (Woamtec President, Kathleen Hawkins)
  E- Empower Others
  G- Give, Before you Take
  A- Action & Accountability
  C- Cash Flow for You & Others
  Y- You, Take care of You
- Be a 10 Fold Marketer- Think of the good for others first (Marianne Carlson)
- Take care of the vehicle that will take you there- your Body! (Teresa Tapp)
- Never stop believing in yourself (Forbes Riley)

The Legacy Award caught me by surprise as I sat around friends who had come to cheer me on! Why? Because rarely do organizations who support widows get such recognition. Maybe the winds are changing and maybe all the hard work, weekends & nights are paying off. But honestly, if I inspired just ONE person to do something KIND for another widow in this world, I have done my job!!

Amen.

We have much to do together to bring justice, empowerment to the mentors we are becoming and the realistic 'hand up vs. hand down' support for widows worldwide. 
Move forward while reaching back is our motto. I'm honored and will continue to speak up for all of us!

Please share Modern Widows Club with anyone you know, our Facebook page is VERY active (and free). We are continuing to create & raise donations for our online magazine in production by B&C Designers in St. Louis. We will launch this as soon as 7K more is raised. I'm so grateful for the 3K donated so far which has kept the ball rolling with legal trademarking, non-profit filing, designing the wireframe & development costs. 

Here is a sneak peek ----->

Upcoming for MWC:

November 2-4- Chattanooga, TN

Visit Widows Harvest Ministries 

I want to know more about this successful widows movement.

November 10- Boston, MA

Speaking at 'Loss to Launch' with Second Firsts Christina Rasmussen, Kris Carlson of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and TEDx Coach KC Baker

November 15- Orlando, FL

MWC: Social Hour

Book Signing 'Finding Joy After Loss' with Author and Long standing MWC'er Vashon Sarkisian. We will also discuss sending 1.5 million Lego's to Nairobi, Kenya for a widows orphanage Hope for Orphans Rescue.

November 17- Orlando, FL

Thanksgiving Dinner Baskets distributed 

to all local MWC ladies & their children by Servant's Heart Center. 

Want on the list? Write me at carolyn@modernwidowsclub.com

Love to all of you, thank you for your continual love & support. May God bless you abundantly,

Carolyn Moor

Founder Modern Widows Club

Western World Widows bring hope to Worldwide Widows with Kiva

You want to know one of my addictions? 

It's sponsoring third world widows with Kiva micro-loans. 

See what I mean.

From Mexico, El Salvador, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Nicaragua and the latest, Kenya. I started out small with a couple of $25 loans and then one of the ladies would pay me back...penny by penny until, I received the whole $25 back. 

What to do? 

Kiva allows you to receive it back, donate to Kiva or donate to another deserving woman! Of course, I roll it over and keep going. 

Recently, I had a beautiful Kenyan widow contact me through the Modern Widows Club Facebook Page asking to start an alliance, a new chapter in Kenya. We plan on featuring them when our new online MWC magazine launches next month, but for now, you can see their sneek peek photo here. 

The woman in the red shiny shirt is Roseline Orwa. We found out we have very much in common half way around the world. She is widowed, an advocate in her hometown welcoming other younger & older widows into her home, she's an interior decorator who loves planning events that benefit others. Isn't it amazing how God works out the details to be sure you know he is present. 

I'm not sure what is in store for our future but I can say this, I'm willing to make it happen on my end if anyone else is with me!! Let's be what the Dalai Lama said at the 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit- 'Western world women will save the world'. 

Personally, I think he meant western world widows will save the world.... but I'll take that up with him someday when we meet :) 

Will you please consider reaching out to a widow somewhere in the world at Kiva or on your own. 

Click here to follow my lead: http://www.kiva.org/invitedby/carolyn9237

Thank you for paying it forward, Carolyn Moor

Founder Modern Widows Club where

western world widows are bringing hope to worldwide widows. 

Always Wear Your Invisible Crown

Anyone who has found themselves at the crossroads in life knows it's a perspective shifting experience. An invisible portal into another world that is shaking things up for you whether you want it or not.

Somewhere along the line for me, I realized something interesting that I always share when I mentor other widows....that we are wearing invisible crowns handed to us from a divine place of honor that is very misunderstood in the beginning.

You see, I was a queen, but not in the sense that we usually think of a queen. I certainly was not being pampered or waited on hand and foot, but I was in charge of something vitally important and regal. And that is- this one life that God has blessed me with.

I reluctantly, yet finally, accepted my crown and have spent many years collecting jewels that I swear people can actually see now. Like any crown you've ever seen, it is comprised of two key ingredients: metal & jewels.

These two components have great symbolism if you think about it.

 Iron, as in 'iron sharpens iron', is symbolic for spiritual, unseen guides- spirits, saints, G-d, Jesus, angels,  fill in the blank _______ are quite literally around you at all times.... you are never alone. This guidance is omnipresent and literally holds us up in times when we need the borrowed strength. It is our court of majesty.

These spiritual guides are our very own 'divine net' which is meant to catch you if you fall, as opposed to, constrict you from moving along in this mission. Recognizing when we feel stuck in life, trapped in a scenario is the exact moment you need to visualize your 'net' differently. Are you stuck or free to fly? Which is it? You are the queen of your court...rule the land.

When you were born, you were uniquely encoded with the likeness of God in the image of man...some call this the soul essence and this essence gives you a direct lineage for the inborn knowingness to unlock your own spiritual potential to fly. In jumping off the springboard of life, you instinctively know there is a net to catch you, and when you do, you discover new jewels of wisdom, new heights of adventure and your own spiritual core. You find jewels like peace, joy and love.

Just as jewels (real precious stones) develop under pressure, so will your ownership of certain jewels that will be placed upon your invisible crown. Large and small, the design will be created.

That saying 'she has light in her eyes' very much applies here. As a modern widow, being aware of the light giving quality in your eyes is very important to get back again. Look into a persons eyes (mine happen to be green) and tell me, can you see their soul?

You are the queen, the princess of your own domain. You are on a royal mission possible, damn it. Quite simply, as a widow, you have been chosen for this jewel scavenger hunt. I'm afraid it didn't just happen randomly, you were 'blessed and honored with this crown'....there was a divineness, a knowing that you would heed the call and God knew you would claim it someday...is today that day?

Unfortunately, when you don't claim it and instead refuse to stand up, answer, bravely walk into the unknown of your own life--your light will become a mere flicker....you become dim, shadow, you grow dark, which usually exhibits itself outwardly as depression, fear, resistance, uncertainty, hesitation, indecision, saying 'no' when you 'know' you should say yes. In this state, you are running backwards away from your fate instead of stepping forwards towards your royal destiny.

Stepping forwards may mean getting out of bed, driving yourself to a friend who listens, picking up the phone to sign up for that class you've always wanted to take. It's doing anything other than sitting still with your thoughts. Move it or loose it.....after all, you've got jewels to excavate and a beautiful design in process.

I'm inviting you to own your invisible crown today. Upon falling asleep this evening, just quietly say to yourself 'Where am I needed as I wear this invisible crown?' The subconscious will respond mysteriously.... abundantly... surprisingly, you are on your way to finding experiences that are nothing short of fullness, beauty, gratitude and life. The shining of your prisms are needed in this world, it matters tremendously how you choose to wear this crown.

Shining in Gratitude,

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club

Our online magazine is under construction- to be launched soon....we promise. 

Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life/ Coming March 17, 2012

  

3 Hour Workshop

Why take this workshop? Because you benefit from 12 yrs of REAL widow experience and wisdom in Carolyn Moor. There is a reason Oprah asked to interview her in front of millions of viewers and asked how she's made it through. Let's cut to the chase.

In meeting Carolyn (or her daughters), you cannot tell she has suffered any kind of trauma but oh, she has tremendously. This is the mark of the extraordinary woman mentoring you. Take a big step towards feeling alive again. Not life as it was before (as good as it was), but what it CAN be now!

You may not feel like 'yourself' or 'all here', you might not be able to remember well, you may or may not care what others think, you might feel like life isn't worth living, but the truth is, that's your shadow talking, not YOU.

Your life has new signifigance now and although, this loss journey may be new to you....MANY have come before you and are thriving. Come learn from one, Carolyn Moor.

You are not alone, come join others who are in this with you. We will create 3 'take aways' uniquely related to finding your joy, peace and meaning in all this pain. You'll hear stories, maybe share your own. Life will take on a new motivation and understanding after this workshop. You will surprise yourself.  

If you have read this far and feel anxiety about signing up, please, I encourage you to MAKE the time to do this for yourself. It's hard to believe 3 hrs can make a difference, but it can by simply 'changing your mind' to do so. 

Carolyn developed a 'sticky note vision' exercise that catches you pleasantly by surprise. 

Just ask anyone who has taken this workshop. You walk away with new perspectives and a vision for your life. This is not a pity party, this is finding the 'better' instead of the 'bitter' and we will have fun. Believe it. 

Register/click here: Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life, March 17th (Yes, I know its St. Patty's Day- so wear green for 'growth)  for $45 you could be ONE of the 8 women to begin this process and be inspired. Held at New Hope for Kids in Maitland, FL


Please share, encourage your widowed friends to spend 3hrs with me. Sponsor her, drive her, do what it takes to love the in practical ways.

See you there,

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club

Photos from past workshops--->

Everyone leaves with a smile :)

What could have been.

As I sit here and write this post, I wonder where you are at this moment. I wonder how many months, or years it has been since you lost someone you love. In particularly this week, the death anniversary of my late husband, I find myself remembering all the things that 'could have been'. 

Father daughter dances. Graduation. Talks about boys. Walking down the aisle. Holding a grandchild for the first time. 

Many thoughts so painfully real that it leaves me unable to breathe. 

This Valentine's Day was my 12th year being a widow. I allow myself to fully feel the loss on this day- to remember what could have been. It hurts. Badly. There's so much I wanted but I will never have. 

After the tears, the photo box overload, the isolation, the writing letters and the intrepid trip down memory lane, I can bravely say I have come to a new place called 'what could be'. 

What could be is at the very essence of where Modern Widows Club was born. To me, I was a widow second and a woman first. I needed to get back to being a woman again. So, I decided to see if there were any other women like me, who thought like this. And you know what? I found them. You are probably one of them, maybe you know one. 

Let me share some of the 'what could be' thoughts I discovered at our MWC: Social Hour last night around the fire.

~It's ok to say 'I'm happy' and not feel guilty. It's ok to change your mind tomorrow. 

~MWC is a destination along your journey.

~Your sisters at MWC are fanning your inner flame that will become a glowing fire.

~We are unassuming heroines with blessed wounds that have shaped our character.

~When it feels like nothing is happening, something actually is happening, you just don't know it yet. 

~With dating again, the options are unlimited. Becoming at peace with the fact you may or may not have another partner in life just may save you from making a serious mistake. What is important to remember is you loved in this life and be thankful it happened to you.

~Plant a lot of seeds in your life. Some will grow fast, some won't.

~You are first, a woman, second, a widow. Become it. 

~At MWC, we show each other our authentic selves --even when we don't know who that is!

~Widows who focus on being a woman can be uplifting and inspiring to all women who fear widowhood in their future. We become the lighthouse of hope across all boundaries. 

~Sometimes bravely saying 'I'm grateful, but goodbye' to a situation that is not honoring to your life is the best solution. You're going to need a higher power and friends to reach out and make it through. 

The women of Modern Widows Club are wise, brave, relevant and vital to society. They are fragile and yet strong. They are different and it's a good thing. Men want to date them, but they don't even know it. Women look up to them, and they shy away from it. People whisper about widows, and now, we have something to whisper about! 

Become 'what could be'..... 

Breathe again. 

Hope again. 

Peace again. 

Happy again. 

Thrive again. 

Friend again. 

Grateful again.

Yes, we are different, we wear invisible crowns, thank goodness. 

Carolyn Moor

Modern Widows Club- 

Talk to us on Facebook today! 

A Modern Widow. Does she look like you thought? 

Just Because....

This morning, driving my daughter to school my thoughts were on my awesome 'last night'.

About 5 yrs ago, I decided to start a women's group comprised of my closest 30 real friends who basically held me up when I couldn't go on after suddenly becoming a widow and single mom.

You know, its those friends who watch your kids, hire you, encourage you, hold you when you cry, mentor you, give it to you straight and can make you upset sometimes. But one thing is for sure, they add to your cup that flow-ith over!! I had a cup that was spilling over with gratitude and needed a way to 'give back'.

So, I created a group called C-LOVE (Carolyn Love), but we all just call it clove for short. We have speakers share, I share, they share and we all grow in phenomenal ways. The topics are as heartwarming as heartwrenching sometimes. I'm so honored to be in a room full of authentic women who parent, work, struggle, love, care, give and change the world with every thought. They engage me and lift me up. I've become the best woman I can with their constant support. Our logo says it all: Conscious, Luminous, Open hearted, Vital and Empowered.

Last night, I just stood in awe of them and found myself sharing a story about what I do for Valentine's Day and encouraged them to go and 'do something, just because'.

In my old neighborhood, stood a historic, beautiful home with an overgrown yard where a woman lived in seclusion. I could see that a car would leave and return, and since her driveway was on a busy street, rarely was there an opportunity to catch a glimpse of her. I would ask my neighbors if anyone had ever met the woman and received a 'no' every time-- few even knew her name but everyone knew she was widowed.

I wondered about the woman: her name, her story. So, I decided to do something 'just because'.

On Valentine's Day, the death anniversary of my late husband, we (my family) go into the world and do something to commemorate his 'spirit' and 'love' that was given to us. So, on that Valentine's Day, I went to the store and bought a beautiful bouquet of flowers and proceeded down the sidewalk to the 'mystery neighbors' house. I braved crossing the busy street and because her front yard was so overgrown, I went to the back door near her car.

I knocked and stood looking at the beautiful house designed by James Gamble Rogers II, a famous architect in Winter Park, FL. Then I heard footsteps and a door opened. I peered thru the locked screen door to a tall woman with gray hair and beautiful face. She smiled and said hello.

I smiled and said 'Hi, my name is Carolyn and I'm one of your neighbors. We've never met, but I heard you were a widow too. I'm also a widow and I just wanted you to know that I think of you'. You could see her soften and reach down to unlock the screen door, as it opened I saw the tears beginning to pool in her eyes. The face of surprise, shock was evident. I lifted my arm and extended the flowers out saying 'You are not alone. Happy Valentine's Day just because'.

Well, that's when an instant friendship was formed. She invited me in and gave me a tour of her beautiful house. She only lived in one small portion of it, it needs repair. There is no water in the swimming pool and the air was pungent with a slight mildew scent. It was a haven for her, a place where she lived with her late husband. She had a son, and he came over often. We swapped stories and then I told her how happy I was that I finally came over. I wondered why it took me so long.

We said goodbye.

The years have gone by, I went back to raising my children and watching her car in the driveway. I moved from that neighborhood and rarely get over there, but I have to say, this moment is one of the most memorable from living there for 10 yrs. Sometimes 'just because' leads you to the 'heaven' that is all around you if you are willing to go and do for others on a day when you feel like you 'need' the love. It's quite the opposite, when you give what you need, you get back 10 fold-- that's just how God works it.

I plan on taking flowers over to Joann this year, its been way too long!

With love,
Carolyn Moor
Founder/ Modern Widows Club