You were born for something great!

'I was born for something great, even when something not so great has happened. I've learned that last part has taken me to the 'great' I never knew existed.' (2006 Old Journal Entry, Backstage at the Oprah Show)

Today, marks the two week journey that I will share looking into my 'trail of tears', the 2 wks leading up to Feb. 14th, Chad's death anniversary. We all experience a shift in our inner selves when we know this is coming. On a cellular level, I know, I cannot resist this coming on or how it will manifest itself, but I've just learned a different way to handle the stress of feeling it.

First, I must resist the feeling of wanting to run away and instead run to those in life who are wanting to give me love in many different ways. I accept any and all love that comes my direction.

Every year, Chad, an architect, would handcraft me a unique, architectural stylized card. It was highly anticipated and I never knew when he would hand it to me....I just kept waiting for the masterpiece to be pulled out so I could see his artistry. Always using callilgraphy to create a touching one or two liner that always left me feeling like the luckiest girl on earth.

So after he died, his dear friend Denny, picked up his architectural markers and continued his tradition of giving me cards with this flavor. Here's what arrived in the mail yesterday. 

The moral of this story is, love continues to live on in bittersweet ways. It's Gods way of allowing us to see the BIG world of love available to us if we allow ourselves to see it. Today, I will and I say 'bring on the rainfall'. Sometimes we have to borrow the love of others, to 
find our own in this life.


With sisterly love, 
Carolyn Moor
Modern Widows Club


                                         ~Dedicated to Chad and all the love he shared with us.

What I know for sure!

What do you KNOW for sure? 


Does anyone see those articles on the very back page of Oprah  magazine? (or online)
Well, I always seem to be drawn to them, not because I care what Oprah knows 'for sure'....because they turn back around pointing the finger at ME and I start asking myself 'What do I know for sure?' 

'For sure' is a tough one when you become a widow, because nothing looks certain. 


So, I never really asked myself this question until about 5 yrs ago when I was on a surprise date with an influential man who was a mayor of a big deal town. After our date and my walking in heels for many blocks in the city, we sat down finally in my hotel room where he offered to give me a footrub. I let him. 


During that intimate moment, he asked me a question- 'What do you believe in?' and my heart started to race nervously. I was stumped. I wanted to answer the 'right way' and I wanted him to approve of my answer. I had stars in my eyes for this man and I felt like any potential future with him might hinge on this one moment of sharing 'what I believed in'. 

I fumbled and stumbled, I felt inferior. I froze and admitted 'I wasn't sure.' Was he meaning spiritually, metaphorically or realistically. I started analyzing the answer and he quietly said again 'Just tell me what you believe in!'. 


He left that night and I laid in bed looking up at the white ceiling and thinking 'why couldn't I tell him?'. It made me wonder who I was and what my convictions really were. I had been living life and doing life with what I felt like I believed in, but in fact, I couldn't share these beliefs at a moment of important significance.


I've spent the last 5 yrs not only discovering what I believe in but being able to share it at the drop of a hat. Listed below are just a few. I welcome you to write and share yours with me if you know or maybe recommitting to finding out this year. 


~I believe that God has a much bigger plan for me (and everyone) than our pea brains can conceive.
~I believe I'm a widow, single mom of two daughters who are meant to witness a warrior mom because they will need this example for their own purpose in this world. 
~I believe life is right before your eyes if you look with God Goggles on.
~I believe that Jesus is my greatest mentor and I look forward to meeting him someday. I attempt daily to be a fraction of his example. Whether you believe in him or not, he is awe-inspiring. 
~I believe love is our universal language that makes all things good. 
~I believe it matters where you grew up and who you know, but I also believe it can become a negative or positive in your life if you see it that way. 
~I believe a vacation is the best medicine.
~I believe that my Macbook Pro is a lifeline. 
~I believe my cat Maggie taught me how to trust in love again.
~I believe you can't walk out of your own story, no matter how hard you try. 
~I believe we all have divine ingredients; discovering them allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
~I believe that every person I meet is a messenger and I'm meant to seek out the message.
~I believe that I will always want to live near water
~I believe life is short and bittersweet


Thank you for listening and being in my life. 
Carolyn Moor
www.modernwidowsclub.com

Welcome PA, TX, IA, KY, CA, WA, TN, NJ and NY

Good Morning Ladies, I wanted to say 'welcome' to all the newbies. (I might have missed a state or two.)

I woke up thinking about how very phenomenal every one of you are. Living out your 'not supposed to be' life. Your eyes open up and you choose to either pull over the covers again (which is fine) or get up and accomplish something (which is fine too).

I don't accomplish everything I set ou

t to do everyday...mainly because I attempt too much. I don't always leave 'space' for what God has ready for me. I have a ritual that I try to do every morning, I pull a 'grace card' and this card always seems to be a northern star for me. It centers me.

Some days I'm surprised how poignant it is and somedays, I'll admit, I get a little miffed at what I pull because its usually something I'm struggling with and want to forget.

Just this moment I pulled my card: RECEIVE- When we open ourselves up to others, we open ourselves up to the abundance of the universe.

See.

I may not know you personally, but I think of you daily constantly. I praise you secretly and I know you do 'a-ma-zing', even when you don't take the time to realize it. I know this journey isn't always easy or wanted. But you have sisters, and they are freakin awesome and ready at the drop of a hat... this I know. There are a million places you can find solace online, I'm honored you are here and I promise to always be painfully authentic. Happy Weekend, we survived and thrived another day ;) 

Carolyn Moor

Founder @ Modern Widows Club

Lessons learned @ MWC Social Hour

Last evening was our 3rd monthly MWC: Social Hour in Orlando, FL. Yes, we are a fairly new group that packs a punch and blows the lid off of what life is really like for a modern widow. I closed the door to my home about 12:45am after opening it at 6:00pm. That's just how we do it. 

I was tired, but invigorated and hoped I'd remember half of what nurtured me last night so I could share with you today. Widows as recent as 6 months, 4 yrs, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 12 yrs and 25 yrs were in the house. We are for every woman at every stage. 

So, here goes. 

Widows deserve surprise gifts, hugs and to know someone out there is thinking of them. 

Widows are gracious hosts because its wonderful to be 'giving back' after needing to be 'given to' for so long. 

No matter how much time and space has occurred since death entered our life, it only takes one reminder, one trigger to take you back there in a milli-second to remind us that life will never be the same. It can become bitter or better, you will have to choose for yourself. 

All of us are struggling with something: relationships, money, jobs, finding purpose. We are on a parallel path with others who truly understand. Finding others is important to being understood when you feel like an alien. 

We kinda know you are tired of hearing about our late husbands, but we are healing while we are talking. We are finding our way in a strange new world. Just find a way to sit and listen to us without dismissing how valuable your silence and receiving is to us. 

Always wear your invisible crown, but of course, when there are REAL crowns around, always wear THOSE! 

Life is full of surprises.

Sometimes a brave new idea will resonate with others deeply in ways only God can comprehend. Our job is to be the hands & feet and make His love a daily offering from your heart. 

Ask and you shall receive. We don't ask for enough of what we deserve. We don't share how we really feel- like how we hate writing thank you notes for favors that friends do constantly for us. Why? Because it makes us relive that memory of WHY we need so much help. As twisted as that sounds, its how we feel sometimes. 

A good laugh is the best medicine. A question was asked "Will there ever be more to do in life than 'pulling the covers' over our heads" Widow response: "I can think of a lot of other good things to do under the covers!" (INSERT HUGE LAUGH)

We all agree that we want 'partnering' again. Marriage? Maybe. That's up to the individual, but we all want someone to want to be with us. To look forward to seeing us, smiling with us, touching each other. We all want what everyone wants. 

We've all lost friends. We've all rejoined with those friends at weddings and funerals. These experiences anchor us to what matters in life. It's important to honor those connections and again feel the simple pleasures of a conversation, warming toes by a fire and planning a "People I Love Party". 

For those of you who were not around the fire last night, a 'People I Love Party' is a party where you invite all those people who you love, all those people who attended your wedding and funeral. But now,  you celebrate this life and love you do have today. Why must we have a life altering event to celebrate a life?

I had this party in 2005. Over 100 of my friends attended, I don't have photos to post to show you, but I'm sure every person who attended remembers. I created nametags that said 'Carolyn loves me because____________________________". So as you approached a stranger, you had a bit of information to learn and share. It was pretty awesome!

You see, life as a widow gives you permission to do life differently. You can have a party like no one else, you can create a group of widows and call it modern. You can do anything.....anything. Just do it. In the 'doing' you will find your next step, next clue to go another day and so on. 

Also, once a widow, always a widow, so reach back. As we learned last night from Anne- a 25 yr widow veteran who attended because  "even after all these years", she hoped to find a group like the Modern Widows Club. 

We are honored to be that for her. I am honored to have such extraordinary new friends. So let's spread the word. 'If it is to be, it is up to me.' 

So grateful for every lady who attending, shared their heart and experiences last evening. 

Looking really forward to teaching you this Saturday, Jan. 21st for our 'Goodbye Shadow + Hello Life' Workshop and 'Surviving to Thriving' Workshop. A few seats are still calling your name. 

Next month, mark your calenders!!!!!

MWC: Social Hour  Feb. 16  to prove 'There is life after love, even when you loose love on Valentine's Day!' I will be sharing tidbits of video from my TLC episode on 'Shalom in the Home' as I discussed Valentine's Day thru the lens of a modern widow. 

It's gonna be good, so keep up here and on Facebook!

Carolyn Moor

 Easy register: modernwidowsclub.com

http://www.modernwidowsclub.comhttp://www.modernwidowsclub.com